What To Wear For A 4th of July Party

AMERICA’S birthday fuck yeah. The one day of the year where nobody gives a fuck about anything other than America. Eagles will be soaring, fireworks will be bursting, and beers will be drunk. There’s no better excuse to get hammered than celebrating America. You could come to the party in your boring blank tee shirt and khaki shorts. Or you could come in clothes that scream America.

Kenny Powers Screams America

It’s too late to rock Kenny Powers now for the 4th of July, but there’s always next year. These are selling like hotcakes, so if you want to show your friends and family how much you love America, buy one of these hats or shirts. All I have to say is this “I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism.” That’s right, under Kenny Powers riding a jet ski, what screams more America than that?

American Flag Onesie

Wearing a onesie the other 364 days of the year is fucking strange. There’s one magical day of the year where wearing a onesie isn’t only acceptable, but is encouraged. You can have the entire flag on display. The only downside is a onesie isn’t breathable. The chafing and ball sweat can be real especially with the heat in July. If you’re a big boy, or sweat bad maybe a onesie isn’t for you.


To rock overalls, there’s no in-between; you either need to be super fit or really fat. If you’re not a fat ass and have an actually good body, the overalls can show off the arms and your chest. If you’re the opposite, seeing a huge dude in overalls is just funny. You get the breathability that you don’t get with a traditional onesie, and you get to rock the entire flag.

Flag Swim Trunks

Once again dudes with sick bodies these are for you. If you’re at a 4th of July party near a pool or at the beach you can rock these with no shirt. If you have a sick body you’ll end up ripping your shirt off regardless if there’s no water and end up only wearing these swim trunks.

American Flag Polo

Maybe you hit the links before the party and instead of changing you go still rocking the flag polo. Or if you’re in charge of the grill this and some white new balances will make the perfect dad fit.

USA Jersey

The Olympics and the 4th of July are the definitions of patriotism. So why not combine both of them? Hot day you can rock a basketball jersey. If it’s on the cooler side, you can rock a USA hockey sweater. Bonus points if you have the 1980 sweater.

What will you be wearing for the 4th of July? Regardless of what you wear, I hope you are partying your ass for ‘MERICA.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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