What Would You Do To Have The World Go Back To Normal?

We are little over 11 months since the sports world was suspended from Coronavirus, and we are still dealing with this bullshit. There seems to be no end in sight as vaccines are being slowly drawn out, and there’s new hysteria about other strains of this virus. So what if you had the Thanos Infinity Gauntlet and with one snap of a finger you could make everything go back to normal? If you watched Endgame you know there’s sacrifices that needed to be made in order to acquire the Infinity Gauntlet. The University of Grand Canyon did a survey with 500 college students who were studying remotely, and found out what they would be willing to give up in order to go back to college, and live their normal lives.

Even though I’m not a college student I would love for the world to go back to normal. I miss seeing friends, going to sports, going out to eat, and getting black out drunk in bars. Out of the first four options the survey provided I could easily do 2 out of 4. My fat ass doesn’t go to the gym or work out as it is so I could go years without going to the gym. I can also decently cook for myself, and I would miss fast food, but I could live without it. Then there’s the next 2 big options could I go without my phone or my AirPods for an entire month? I don’t want to be that person, but I don’t know if could. I’m on my phone and AirPods literally all day at work, I don’t know if I could deliver mail without them. I listen to podcasts all day, and try to avoid working as long as possible on my phone. Sure I could use wired headphones, but I’m not a poor person. I think I could do it for a month, but I would probably have to take the entire month off from the post office. That place is a hell hole even while distracting my mind with podcasts, I can’t imagine if I was just left with my own thoughts.

I haven’t gone anywhere in about 2 years for vacation so I could give up another year. The first 2 choices I can’t really have an opinion on, but remembering back to my brief college experience I would easily say yes for the first 2 options. I could give up Spotify for a year since I barely use it, and there’s other options for music. I could be a cool hipster and listen to records, or I could go back to my CD collection that I wasted hundreds of dollars on. I would give up my car for a month that just means I can’t go to work for a month, and I wouldn’t complain about being a hermit for an entire month.

I haven’t been on Facebook for probably close to 2 years, so that would be easily. I got off Facebook as it started to become for old people, and with Facebook I started to hate the people I actually knew. Unlike other social medias where I love random strangers. Tik Tok would be hard if only there was other places where I could see hot chicks dancing in tiny bikinis. Instagram and Snapchat are whatever I don’t sext anybody so I could care less about Snapchat, and I could go without seeing my old friends post on Instagram about how amazing their fake life is. Twitter would be hard since I’m that app by far the most.

This survey didn’t ask the hard questions. Would you be willing to stop drinking for an entire month? Would you be willing to go without nicotine or drugs for an entire month? Could you go without sex for an entire month or for you losers who don’t get any could you go without making yourself cum? When I told one of my friends that I was getting the vaccine he tends to believe a lot of thing he sees on Facebook. He asked if I didn’t care about a third arm growing out of my ass? I told him that if the world could go back to normal that I wouldn’t care about 4 arms growing out of my ass.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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