Gin and Tonic
You think that you’re better than everyone for having ordered this “mature drink” and will make it known.
Rum and Coke
You’ll say, “I would drink this if there weren’t alcohol in it,” four times before finally convincing your friend to try this “fire mix” that’s been ordered by every seventeen-year-old going into the bar for the first time with a fake I.D.
You either like to keep a mellow drunk throughout the night and don’t want to get too crazy or you’re itching to get into your first bar fight and have decided that a glass beer bottle is the best thing to have in your hand for when it comes.
You tell everyone that you like them because they don’t taste like much, but in reality, you order them because you know you’re going to have seven and don’t want to deal with calories.
You’ll have four rounds in a half an hour, try fight the bouncer, piss yourself on the way home, learn nothing, and do the same thing the following week.
You’re going to sit at the bar and “brood” and when someone tells you to get up and dance, you’ll tell them, “This place just isn’t my scene.”
You’ve seen Once Upon a Time in… Hollywood one too many times and you feel like a leading role in Tarantino’s next movie is just one more of these $11 drinks away.
Vodka Red Bull
Despite being nine when it happened, you continue to whine about how you wish the old Four Lokos still existed, so you order the next best thing and keep your friends awake until six in the morning after getting back home.
You have a vagina.
Your vagina has been used more times than a shared Brazzers account in an eighth-grade friend group.