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What Your GPA Says About You

Your college GPA can be either your best friend or your worst enemy. Although someone might start off their freshman year with a respectable 3.7, a couple of tough classes can quickly make you afraid to speak to your parents. While your GPA doesn’t necessarily define you, it still gives a decent insight into the type of person that you are. With that being said, here’s what your GPA says about you:

4.0

If you have a 4.0 GPA, you’ll fit into one of three possible categories. For one, you could be a complete genius that doesn’t have to put any time into your schoolwork in order to do well. Conversely, you could be a mega-try-hard and not do anything but study. Or finally, you are just a communications major. If you fall into either of the first two areas, there’s no doubt you’ll be successful after college. The third category is a little bit more hit-or-miss, but maybe you’ll get a nice signing bonus at McDonald’s. 

3.7-3.9

If you’re within this range of GPAs, there’s no denying that you’re a good student. But, you’re also the type of guy to flex your GPA around people you already know have worse grades than you. Sure, you’ll graduate with a good job – probably even a better job than most of your peers. However, you’ll never quite get over your Napoleon complex and will always wish you had that perfect 4.0. At least you’ll likely end up with a hot wife because of all your money. 

3.3-3.5

This range of GPAs contains a lot of wildcards. Some kid with a 3.5 might seem like a decent student, but they’ve actually cheated their way through all of school up to that point and will fail miserably after they enter the real world. On the flip side, someone with a 3.3 might not put a lot of time and effort into school because they’re busy working on their dropshipping empire. If you’re within this range, I guess it’s just kind’ve up to you to figure out which person you want to be. 

3.0

If you have a 3.0 GPA, you’re just mid. 3.0 is the most mid possible GPA you can have. It’s not terrible, however, it’s not that good either. I imagine every person with a 3.0 to be that one guy who never Venmos you for anything but will also request you for the three dollars that he spotted you that one time. Don’t get me wrong – you will definitely still be able to graduate with no problems if you have a 3.0. But, I’m not so sure that Daddy’s wallet is gonna be super happy that it dished out sixty grand a year for you to do just alright

Anything that starts with the number “2”

I’m not trying to make fun of anybody here, but if you’re GPA begins with the number “2”, don’t put it on your resume. If you fall within this range of GPAs, all you do at school is party. Odds are, you’re probably in a top fraternity that left you with incredibly scarring pledge memories that will haunt you for the rest of your life. But hey, at least you get to pair with the Alpha Phi’s. You’re two options out of college are either a 9-5 corporate nightmare or daddy’s bank (are you starting to pick up on the theme here?). 

1.9 and below

Congratulations! You’re dumb. Trust me, I get that college can be hard. But, it’s really not that hard. As long as you go to class at least half the time and make a decent effort to study, you should have no problem earning a GPA in the high twos. If you fall into this range, you have to be self-sabotaging. There really is no other viable reason for you to do this poorly.

Written by the godfather

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