Alex Becker
Arizona
It’s hard to tell if you’re hispanic or just got too much of a spray tan.
Arizona St
You go to class just as often as you go to planned parenthood.
Cal
The over/under for the number of times you dye your hair a neon color within your four years is 2.5.
Colorado
When you’re done trying all of the drugs this world has to offer over your five and half years here you will return back to California and take over the family business.
Oregon
You can roll a joint, sip kombucha, and juggle a hacky-sack all at the same time.
Oregon St
The profile picture of you holding a pitchfork and case of Coors Light does way better on Farmers Only than Tinder.
Stanford
Whether it’s diagnosed or not you are definitely on the spectrum.
UCLA
People think you like to party because you’re from LA, but in reality your version of “going out” is getting hot-pot or korean bbq.
USC
Three things you definitely have if you go to USC are a pair of brown flip flops, an over-the-shoulder fanny pack, and a trust fund.
Utah
You drink a glass of milk with your dinner that was cooked by your 18-year-old wife.
Washington
You are either in Greek life or a foreign exchange student. You do not mix with the opposite group.
Washington St
The number of beers you drink on an average Saturday is the same as your ACT score. Somewhere between 18-25.
