I apologize to all eleven of my dedicated readers my friends who do me a favor by reading these blogs if this was already common news. A headline recently came out that mentioned Tyga and Avril Lavigne were hanging out at one of her shows despite their recent breakup. As far as I’m concerned, the shocking part of this news is that the two have ever dated.
I don’t know why strange romantic pairings of celebrities still surprises me. There’s a new one every week that has no visible connection, and every time it baffles me. It’s to the point where I think I would empty my savings account for a diagram of a sexual Hollywood family tree of sorts. It wouldn’t really surprise me if Bill Murray and Timothee Chalamet are eskimo brothers.
I can’t remember a weirder combination of talent in a romantic relationship than these two. I haven’t met either Tyga, or Avril Lavigne. So I can’t say much as far as how their personalities mesh. What I can say is that everyone in my middle school was listening to one of them, and no one was listening to both. As a result, the two of them together in my head feels like a peanut butter and barbeque sauce sandwich.
I really wish their romantic connection led to more creation of art. Some sort of hybrid between the two of their musical styles would’ve been more confusing than any episode of Westworld ever was. The difference is we wouldn’t have to pretend to understand it. We could all roll the windows down and blare, “Why’d you have to make things so complicated, in rack city b***h.” That combination of lyrics and melodies would have to be hammered out by someone way more musically gifted than myself. It would still be great though.
I’m sorry about your breakup guys. Just please make a song together to get over it.
