Wimbeldon Has A Sex Problem

Wimbledon has a big problem, but it’s not about tennis. It’s a sex problem.

According to The Telegraph, last year’s London-based tennis tournament saw a big problem with improper use of the venue’s “quiet rooms.” Wimbledon has notably kept a couple quiet sanctuary rooms available around the stadium for anyone who wants to be alone in a room with less stimulus. However, after last year, Wimbledon officials are cracking down on those who attempt to use the room for sex.

A spokesperson for the All England Lawn Tennis Club said the quiet rooms can be used for “a variety of reasons including to support those with additional needs and to support any religious requirements or quiet reflection.” Notably not on that list is intercourse. Understandable, yes. However, that hasn’t stopped wild couples from hooking up in the space, with some getting caught from their noises, walking out in pairs, and even being walked in on. 

Due to the horniness of last year’s patrons, Wimbledon has stepped up its regulation of the rooms. “It’s a really important space. So, we will be retaining it and we’ll be making sure that people are using it the right way,” said chief executive of the All England Lawn Tennis Club Sally Bolton.

For those caught in the act, there will be some sort of punishment. There will be attendants standing outside and around the sanctuary rooms monitoring who enters and for how long. The doors to the room also do not lock, allowing anyone to enter at any given moment.

Honestly, if anything, all reading this has done for me is make me respect tennis fans a little more. I used to think tennis fans were just rich, preppy white people who liked a classy sport without violence. Now I realize they are just absolute dawgs.

I think it’s hard to blame the fans though. These quiet rooms meant for prayer and breastfeeding come with two armchairs, a table, and phone chargers. You are basically begging them to do it. People have sex on airplanes in a bathroom the size of a coffin and you expected them to see a wide-open private room and not have a little fun time? That’s simply on you guys. People are animals. Dirty dirty animals.

Alex Becker

Written by Alex Becker

To comment, fill out your name and email below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Tom Brady-Kim Kardashian Dating Rumors

Salma Hayek Celebrates National Bikini Day