Women Are Angry And We All Need To Care NOW!

Karen Dhanowa and Nilima Amin have filed a 5 million dollar lawsuit against Subway claiming that their tuna is not actually tuna. These Californian women have done a test that proves the tuna is in fact “made from a mixture of various concoctions that do not constitute tuna, yet have been blended together by defendants to imitate the appearance of tuna” This irritated the women because they feel lied to and rightfully so. But here’s the thing, who the fuck cares?

You’re telling me you were going to a FAST FOOD restaurant expecting to get good quality food? How privileged are you? Do you think anyone is really surprised that a fast food restaurant is lying about their food? like who was going to Subway expecting to get an authentic sandwich with EXACTLY what Subway says is in it. Have we learned nothing about fast food over the past decade of shitty documentaries to make 14-year-old girls on Twitter scream at celebrities whenever they eat a burger?

Fast food isn’t food. It’s edible material that is shaped and flavored to look and taste like what it needs to be. These companies shouldn’t be trusted and I thought we all knew that. You don’t need to make a 5 million dollar lawsuit about fucking tuna. All fast food is bullshit processed plastic for bad parents to shove down their screaming kid’s mouth for our enjoyment. Except Wendy’s. Wendy’s is the best. 

Hey, person who runs Wendy’s social media… 😘 

I don’t want free food I just want attention.

But seriously who really had faith in any fast-food restaurants? Who the fuck is trusting Subway? The last time we trusted Subway a lot of children were molested. Coincidence? These women need to get off their high horse and accept the fact that fast food isn’t going to change. Even if Subway caves and starts using actual tuna, do you think that solves the problem? They are just going to put more processed bullshit in some other meat and hope you don’t notice. 

Also, do you think anyone is going to thank you for doing what you’re doing? I certainly don’t give a shit about tuna. Let me clarify. I don’t care about Subway’s tuna. I like the animal. Some species of tuna are actually endangered so you are pissing people off and killing fish at the same time which can’t look good for you. Let Subway keep their processed food and save some lives.

There’s no winning against fast food. Just shut up and have a burger.

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  1. For $5M I’ll play a whiney Karen for a while, let Conall make fun of me for a couple paragraphs, maybe even settle out of court for a smaller amount, walk away with my money and have everyone forget about in no time flat.

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