Worst Things To Tell A Girl

As a tried and true heterosexual male, I have learned a lot through the years of being a dude. Along with the golden rule of “Don’t ask a girl her age, a man his salary, or the whereabouts of your skin-bald neighbor on January 6th, 2021, I present to you a comprehensive list of topics one should avoid when speaking with humans of the opposite gender.

“You’re Not Like The Other Girls”: There is no way that the girl you are talking to doesn’t take this the wrong way and it ends up working out for you.

“Calm Down”: If you want a girl to go batshit crazy on you, go ahead and say this. One I have noticed works well is “You’re eyes are so pretty when you’re upset”

“That’s Pretty Good for a Girl”: Women love sexist men. Just Kidding.

“My Exes Are Crazy”: How do you expect a woman to react to this? You’re implying that she is crazy and/or that you are a bad guy.

“Is It That Time of Month?”: Hope you like death.

“Is That What You’re Wearing?”: How to Make a girl feel insecure 101!

“When are you due?”: Guessing whether a girl is pregnant or fat is something I would not put my money on.

“You’re Acting Like Your Mom”: This is most apparent if the female you are talking to is your girlfriend. Unless her mom is Mother Theresa, this won’t end well.

“You’re A lot Prettier on Instagram”: She will leave you at that exact moment

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