- The loser
This guy has 2 friends, an alcohol problem, and a pretty decent amount of money from his parents so, why not buy some friends? Whenever you see this guy it’s immediately clear that he does not belong anywhere near a party. Being in a frat makes him feel important and it’s way too obvious. He should be with 2 more losers watching Naruto or some other anime that I am too cool to know the name of. This guy has no idea how to interact with people and it shows. Constantly trying to butt into conversations, blacking out after 4 coors, and making at least one girl leave the party. “He’s just weird. He came up to me and asked me if I would ever get nipple piercings.” You know the frat can’t kick him out because he is a nice guy, pays dues, and more importantly, makes everyone else look hotter. At least that’s your theory.
- The Obvious One
It’s pretty easy to spot. This guy has more “friends” than anybody you’ve ever met, an alcohol problem, and an endless supply of lawyer daddy’s money so, “why not grab some losers so I can look hot?” Whenever you see this guy it’s immediately clear that he is the reason they invented parties. Being in a frat makes him feel important and it’s way too obvious. This is where he lives. You’ve never seen him or his two other juul addicted cronies anywhere else on campus besides a dirty frat basement or some other place in college I wasn’t cool enough to know about. Constantly having the loudest conversations, blacking out after a bottle of Burnett’s, and making at least one girl leave the party to go to his room. “Yea I actually live in this house. You want me to give you the tour?” You know the frat can’t kick him out because he brings bitches, pays rent on the house, and more importantly, makes the frat look hotter. At least that’s your theory.
- The Townie
This guy has absolutely no friends, an alcohol problem, and a lot of money because he works a full-time job and lives with his parents so, “why not try to seem relevant to people at college?” Whenever you see this guy it’s immediately clear that he is just using the frat to fill the social void that comes with living at home with your parents. Being in a frat makes him feel important and it’s way too obvious. He only comes around for the parties because he works all day at a job or some other adult thing I’m too cool to know the name off… maybe Oatmeal? Constantly bringing up politics during conversations, coming to the party already blacked out, and making at least one brother leave the party because he kissed him. “It’s just a joke. It’s funny. You know? Like if I was gay that would be funny… right?” You know the frat can’t kick him out because he… actually, fuck this guy. Kick this guy out. Townie trash. At least that’s your theory.
