Elevated Emily and Surface Sarah:
These ladies are everywhere and standing on literally anything. The floor was cool for a minute, but the minute Emily turned and showed Sarah that Yeti Cooler, they were instantly airbourne.
These two either come in a pair or in a group but never alone. Think about it…when girls are on elevated surfaces it’s never a solo moment.
The elevated girls are either a hit or a miss at a party. They are there for one of two reasons. These gals are either looking to hype a party up or have the party hype them up.
Next time you see this dynamic duo out at a party, observe them. Are they elevated for the people, or are they elevated by the people? Something to think about…
Let’s Rage Rachel:
Let’s Rage Rachel is the perfect party goer, not too shy but not too crazy. She’s fun for the night and the life of the party, but you don’t want to be in this girls shoes on a Sunday. A Sunday for Rachel is not just scary, it’s a terrifying feeling filled with connecting the dots of a blackout weekend.
We usually feel bad for Crying Colleen because she came out, even though she didn’t want to. She really tried her best to drink the pain away and have a good time, but she was drinking Franzia and that shit caught up to her quick. Next thing she knew, she was crying on a toilet being comforted by 5 girls she’s never met.
Crying Colleen 2.0:
The only time Crying Colleen DOESN’T get a pass, is if this becomes a reoccurring thing. It’s an unspoken rule that you shouldn’t come out if you KNOW you could break at any time. This sounds harsh, but it’s selfish to go to a party and make your friends cater to your drama all night.
First Timer Taylor:
This girl isn’t doing anything wrong, but for some reason you can’t help but feel bad for her. It’s clearly her first time drinking and it shows. At the beginning of the party, word gets out that she’s never drank before and people run to hype her up. That same energy is not met at the end of the night her frantic and naive friends are trying to find something for her to throw up in. At that point everyone shares a pitiful “been there” and waits for her friends to get her out of there.
When I say “prude” I’m not even talking about sex. I’m talking about the girl at the party that has something negative to say about everything everyone is doing. She’s a cigs inside guy’s worst nightmare. When you offer this girl a drink she gives you a pitiful look, points to her water and reminds you that “she’s driving” and she “doesn’t even want to be here.” She’s the ultimate buzzkill to any and all get-togethers. Prudey Judey isn’t even worth the sober ride, I would much rather pay the little money I have on an Uber than have to listen to this naggy bitch all night.
Unlike Prudey Judy, Aggressive Abby WANTS everyone to have a good time, but goes about it in the wrong way. Aggressive Abby has an agenda going into the party, which is to get everyone on her level whether they like it or not. So, she goes around force feeding her own alcohol to anyone and everyone. No song can be played that satisfies Aggressive Abby’s needs, so she’ll heckle whoevers on aux until they inevitably hand it over to her. Miss Abby usually has her eye on one guy all night and will make it her duty to hook up with him. She gets what she wants out of the night at the extent of everyone’s happiness.
She just likes to dance, that’s really all there is to Dancing Dana. No harm, no foul.
Boy-crazy Bella could give a shit if she gets drunk or what her friends are up to. She has a mastermind plan going into every party. At the beginning of the night Bella will flirt with every single guy there. She’ll grind on her top suitors for the duration of the night, until she makes up her mind on which gentleman she will be spending the rest of the evening with.
Boy-Crazy Bella has so many guys that she talks to that you quite literally can’t keep up, and her phone is always dead when you try to track her on Saturday morning.
Can’t Call It Carly:
This girl never knows when to call it a night. Whether she’s overstaying her welcome or on to the next party, this girl truly can’t let the night come to an end. You know when you go out with Can’t Call It Carly you’ll end up eating McDonald’s in some guys kitchen at four in the morning.
People like Let’s Rage Rachel and Can’t Call It Carly are not usually a big fan of Mother Melissa, but she’s a saint in the eyes of everyone else.
Mother Melissa likes to have a good time but she knows when it’s time to go and how to handle tricky situations. Many of us would not be alive without Mother Melissa.
Dip Out Debbie:
Dip Out Debbie is never the friend you care if they leave or not, but it still would have been nice of them to tell you they were leaving. I never understood Dip Out Debbie, they live to leave without a goodbye. Contrary to popular belief, I find Dip Out Debbie to be quite rude.
Fight Night Nina:
Stay clear of miss Nina, she WILL fight you over quite literally anything. Boys…girls…doesn’t matter. You fuck with either her or her friends, she will ruin the party by fighting a bitch, that’s her prerogative.
Many guys fall head over heels for Girlfriend Gina. She’s a friendly girl whos fun to talk to, which often leads to guys thinking she’s interested in them…hate to break it to you fellas, but after “hitting it off” with Girlfriend Gina all night you’ll probably ask her to come back to your place, this is when Miss Gina will tell you that she has a boyfriend whom she adores, and it’s not you.
Picture Paige cares about one thing and one thing only, pictures. She’s only there to make her life seem more interesting on the internet. Do not engage, she WILL ask you how many Instagram followers you have and if you do not meet her standard, you will be asked to take a picture of her and her “besties.” She will then take that photo of her and her other three gals and only edit herself. A narcissist, if you will.