If you’re like me, you find yourself always asking “why?” Why we do the things we do? Why do things like this happen? Why do people act a certain way? Well, like you, I don’t have any of the answers. I’m just here to state the obvious and poke fun at things that we as a society have just kind of accepted. Each week, I’ll simply be asking …why?

Let’s begin, shall we?

I understand having a favorite drink, but why must you shun me if I do not want to rip shots with you? They can’t just “like” tequila, they have to be the queen of it. 

I took a road trip with my mom this week and she got so flustered every time the GPS told her to do something. We’re both looking at the same screen but it’s as if I have some magic talent that makes it so only I can understand this.  I mean, you used to use real life maps. Like, a physical sheet of paper with lines and no guidance.  This should be so easy for you. 

Whether it’s a club, bar, or party there’s always that one person who is trying to have a long conversation with you even if you can’t hear them. After the second “WHAT” these people don’t seem to get the hint that you quite literally have no idea what they are saying. They’ll just keep talking. You ask around to see if you’re just deaf, but no one else can hear them either. But for whatever reason, it doesn’t bother them. They just keep talking. 

For me, it makes sense that I was grouped into the endless recruitment videos. I literally run a sorority account. What I can’t wrap my head around is how everyone else got sucked in too. There were 45 year old women with children in the comments begging for help and asking how they were a part of this. It got so big that the New York Post literally did a story on it. 

Every year when August comes around, people immediately start saying that “summers over.” It’s a glass half empty outlook that I will not stand for. We still have time, people. Don’t let the fact that August is 30 day of Sunday get you down. Sundays can be fun too, it’s that miserable bitch Monday that we’re scared of. 

These greedy motherfuckers that own bars are getting on my last nerve. It is guaranteed that I, as well as everyone else in this line will be spending AT LEAST $100 here tonight so why should I pay YOU just to come in? Wouldn’t you rather I put that money towards a tab that your employees will benefit from? 

Which leads me to my last Why of the Week….

It’s almost like there’s a requirement for them to be a social reject because a lot of these bouncers out here are seeking revenge. They may not have been able to take Brittany to prom, but they’ll make sure anyone who looks like Brittany gets their ID confiscated. When it comes to fakes, these fuckers get rock hard when they take one. More often than not, bouncers will abuse what little power they have over you. They feed off it. If you so much as look at them funny, they’ll make it their mission to not let you through. Sometimes, you almost feel bad for them but then you hit your Juul in the bar and they kick you out. In that moment, you once again see them for who they really are: underpaid rejects turned dictators who work for 4 hours 3 day out of the week. 

Tune in next week for more “Whys of the Week “

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What do you think?

Written by Grace O'Malley

If Carrie Bradshaw drank a little bit too much and was originally from Boston...

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