Let’s not beat around the bush. There are a ton of celebrities that we’d all like to see naked – or at least see naked on a way more frequent basis. Sure, we’re blessed by glorious nude scenes in Euphoria, but I think all of us would be perfectly okay with Sydney Sweeney switching from actress to “adult film star.” Here are some of the celebrities I wish were pornstars.
Note: I will not be including Willem Dafoe. For any of you that were unaware, his penis is apparently so big that a director had to get someone with a smaller one to dick-double in Antichrist because everyone thought his dong might be too distracting.
Jennifer Aniston
The closest we’ve ever gotten to seeing Jennifer Aniston headlining a video with Johnny Sins was that scene from We’re the Millers where she gave every dude seeing that movie in theaters a raging erection. It’s a crime that she’s never agreed to film anything in her birthday suit, but she’s reached an age where just a couple uploads to Pornhub would cement her as the #1 MILF on their leaderboards.
Megan Fox
I’ve watched that scene from Jennifer’s Body more times than I care to admit. I’m pretty anti-Only Fans because there’s enough free stuff out there, but in a list of women that I’d pay to see XXX content from, Megan Fox is probably at the top. She seems content posting awesome pictures on Instagram that force men everywhere to use their imagination more than we’d like to, which is a damn shame for masturbators everywhere.
Livvy Dunne
I’ve been secretly hoping for Livvy Dunne’s iCloud to get hacked since I discovered her a couple years ago. Her making the switch to a starring role in a Brazzers series would weigh less on my conscience.
Beyoncé
I’ll never understand how Jay Z was able to cheat on her. I mean seriously, there’s no upgrading there. Anyway, if Beyoncé really wanted to get back at him (Lemonade couldn’t have been enough), I think Naughty America would be more than happy to get her on camera.
Salma Hayek
There’s two reasons Quentin Tarantino wrote that her character had to stuff her foot in his mouth in From Dusk ‘Til Dawn. First, he has a foot fetish. Second, she is a national treasure of cleavage. If acting roles ever dry up for her, I know for a fact that she would garner the largest audience of her career by simply taking part in penetration on camera.
This list could go on forever, and since I don’t have time to write explanations for every single entry, I’ll do a rapid fire list with the justification being: I want to see them naked all the time.
- Scarlett Johannsen
- Hailee Steinfeld
- Natalie Portman
- Ana de Armas
- Alexandra Daddario
- Emma Watson
- Rihanna
- Blake Lively
- Selena Gomez
- Kristen Bell
- Charlize Theron
- Amanda Seyfreid
- Jessica Biel
- Jessica Alba
- Jennifer Lawrence
- Jennifer Love Hewitt
- Jennifer Lopez
- Shakira
- Rosaria Dawson
- Hayden Panattiere
- Kiera Knightly
- Olivia Wilde
- Mila Kunis
- Ariana Grande
- Doja Cat
- Eva Mendes
- Amber Heard
- Bianca Kajlich
- Isla Fisher
- Amy Adams
- Zendaya
- Sofia Vergara
- Julie Bowen
- Most of the Kardashians/Jenners (Not Caitlyn)
