Formals are a staple of fraternity culture. There’s just nothing better than celebrating a year of disgusting, degenerate behavior with a fancy night out in which everybody’s main goal is to get black out drunk. A lot goes into this year-ender of an event, though, so strap in for a guide to frat formals.
Picking a Date
If you have a girlfriend, you’re already good. It would be a real dick move to take someone other than her. If not, though, it means you’ll be in search of a fine young lady to accompany you to the event of the year. If you’re looking to end the night emptying a few ounces from your nuggets, take a girl that you’ve already sexually disappointed. When you’re focused on getting as drunk as possible without having to worry about impressing your date, take a lesbian. And if you’re looking to be the guy that goes down in history as having the hottest date in fraternity history, hire a high class escort.
Getting an Invite: Sorority Girls
If you’re a girl looking to go to a frat formal, the maneuver of securing the invitation isn’t all that hard. First: be hot. Second: let someone know you want to go. If you can get those two steps done, there’s no doubt you’ll get a date to a frat formal. There’s no guarantee that you’ll get one of the all-stars, but you’ll be there.
What Guys Wear
In my personal opinion, frat formals are the best time to show off some serious drip. Take the suit your mom got you for job interviews, lose the tie, and keep the first few shirt buttons undone. Throw in a nice watch and some dope shoes, and you’re set for a night of looking like you don’t wake up every morning and bet your grocery money on international cricket games.
What Girls Wear
I’m not a woman. I can’t say I’m familiar with the planning that goes into what they have to wear for a formal. In my experience, though, a short dress is always the best call.f you’re a lady out there looking to impress the fellas at the event, don’t hesitate to pick one that’s real tight and shows off your cleavage. It will give your date a little bit of clout for having a girl with him that the other members of the frat will be ogling throughout the night.
The Venue
The venue is simultaneously the most and least important part of the evening. It’s pretty simple, though. You pick a place that’s going to have decent food and drink package options. If you can get somewhere with an open bar, that’s even better. As long as you’re not heading to a South Philly dive bar, whatever place you pick is usually okay. Some degree of class keeps your frat formal from sucking major dong.
The Pregame
A good pre-game is essential to the frat formal experience. With half the fraternity usually underage, it’s not always a guarantee for them to drink throughout the event, which means that their fun time depends on a pre-game that gives them ample time and opportunity secure a decent drunk. You don’t want them get blacked out before you get to the venue, but a good buzz and shooters in their pockets usually keep them more than happy.
The Music
Have your best aux guy create a playlist for the frat formal, and then give that playlist to the DJ beforehand. It takes all of the pressure off of that guy, and it guarantees that you won’t have to hear “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz six times throughout the evening.
Superlatives
If you’re going to be doing superlatives, make sure that you do them quick and make them funny. In all honesty, no one is really all that interested in what any of the executive board members have to say about the year. Just do them quickly and return to drinking.
Post-game
The post-game shouldn’t be a spur of the moment decision. You should have a plan laid out well ahead of time. It’s fine to divide into upperclassmen going to bars and lower classmen throwing down at the house. It’s best for morale if you can all stick together, though. With that said, the real “post-game” should take place in your bed with your date. So long as you’ve been moderately well-behaved throughout the evening.
There you have it: a comprehensive guide to frat formals.
