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At TFM, we love sharing the fucking ridiculousness and debauchery that our followers experience during their nights out. Unfortunately, not every crazy story can be communicated through a 20 second Instagram video. These are the stories that happen when you are too incapacitated, that is too crazy at the moment to whip your phone out, or legally require anonymity. We have been changing the format of these Craziest Stories blogs as more people are submitting them so thank you. Please enjoy…
Chris-
I was on Broadway one night after LSU was in Nashville playing Vandy. Started up at Aldean’s but ended up moving over to Luke’s bar to avoid dealing with a drunk female friend that was sucking face with 3 random dudes at the bar, whom I witnessed all becoming friends over the shared experience of sucking face with the same girl within minutes of each other. Once I got over to Luke’s I started talking to a handful of LSU girls in town for the game. Ended up calling an Uber to bring one of the girls home with me, but one of her other friends was incoherently drunk so we brought her back too. Once I got home with the two LSU girls, I set up the drunk one on the couch with a pillow and a few blankets while the other one came back to my room. To skip details and fast forward to the morning, we did the dirty deed, then around 9am decided to get out of bed to get our shit together. She was supposed to stay with a family friend in Murfreesboro. But when we came out of the bedroom, the drunk friend was no longer there. I walked over to the couch and noticed a small stain on my blankets. I flipped it over, and there was SHIT all over my couch. And not just on the cushions, but in between the cushions, seeping all down the sides to the base of the couch. Fresh, wet shit (literally). Girl immediately starts to gag, I am somehow composed and decide to throw the cushions onto my balcony. Later found out the girl shit herself in her sleep, went into my room mate’s bathroom, used all of his wet wipes to clean herself off, left them on the floor, and called an Uber home earlier that morning. Crazy part is, I don’t have either of these girls’ contact info, no numbers, Snapchat’s, insta, nothing. The girl I hooked up with told me her name was Caitlin and I have reason to believe that was a fake name, all I know is her name might be Caitlyn, she went to LSU, and she’s from Houston. Couch is obviously no longer with us. And oddly enough, I’ve gotten laid off this story twice before the end of that year.
Shit really hit the fan that night… I mean, shit literally could’ve hit a fan.
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