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At TFM, we love sharing the fucking ridiculousness and debauchery that our followers experience during their nights out. Unfortunately, not every crazy story can be communicated through a 20 second Instagram video. These are the stories that happen when you are too incapacitated, that is too crazy at the moment to whip your phone out, or legally require anonymity. We have been changing the format of these Craziest Stories blogs as more people are submitting them so thank you. Please enjoy a story that actually advocates sleeping on a frat house couch.
Just got initiated a few weeks earlier and it was about time our fraternity did a GAC (great American challenge). My team is solid maybe in like 2nd place by the time we get to the liquor and it’s my turn to pay my dues and get on a knee chug. I take one fat pull from the vodka and little did I know that’s where my night ended…or should I say began. We ended up finishing the GAC by eating a pizza and doing a puzzle naming the 50 states on a map. This is where I totally blacked out and don’t remember shit. I went to some after-party and did who knows how many shots and probably drank some other stuff that I’ll never find out about, and then it got to around 3 am and it was time to go home. One of my brothers in my pledge class was nice enough to walk me the mile and a half home to my dorm to make sure I was safe and I thought my night ended there. I wake up, my roommate and his friend are beer bonging wine at 11am on a Saturday, no clue why. I get ready to go to the communal bathroom to shower and shake off this disgusting hangover and as I leave my dorm room I see a cop down the hallway and think “huh that’s weird, this dorm is pretty quiet and its an ROTC dorm so what could have happened.” As I open the bathroom I hear someone say my name and I come back out and what better sight to see than a cop with your RA. She asks if she can talk to me and mind you I’m just in my towel and shower shoes. So I’m like yeah let me get changed real quick, come back into my room and they’re still beer bonging the wine like a couple of GEEDs. Come back out and the cop gives me the rundown of what happened, turns out at around 5am I went into the neighboring room and pissed in the corner til one of the guys escorted me out. I denied all of it, lied about where I was, hell I even pleaded the 5th man that’s when you know you’re in a tight spot. She ends up referring me to the dean of students and they see right through my lies too even though they technically had no evidence I drank that night, I still got fined and had to do some bullshit workshop. Moral of the story, if you blackout just sleep on a couch at the chapter house, it’s not worth it making the trek back home.
This is the best PSA for a disgusting frat house couch.
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