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At TFM, we love sharing the fucking ridiculousness and debauchery that our followers experience during their nights out. Unfortunately, not every crazy story can be communicated through a 20 second Instagram video. These are the stories that happen when you are too incapacitated, that is too crazy at the moment to whip your phone out, or legally require anonymity. We have been changing the format of these Craziest Stories blogs as more people are submitting them so thank you. Please enjoy…
Visiting a friend at their school, blacked out at the pre, got kicked out of the bar almost right away, tried to sneak back in, kicked out again but this time the bouncers ripped open my button-up. I then walked 40 mins alone back to campus, was let in by my friend’s roommate who didn’t go out, passed out, woke up, pissed on the neighbor’s door, pulled the fire alarm, and passed out again. Then my friend’s roommate gets a knock on the door, it’s campus police asking to speak with their guest (me), they walk in and immediately throw me around questioning me while I’m half-conscious. When asked if I pulled the fire alarm I then tell them in my twilight state, “maybe I did…maybe I didn’t”. I finally came to when the handcuffs clicked around my wrists nearly having a panic attack. I was banned from that campus for two years and had to lawyer up to only receive 30 hours of community service and avoid any criminal charges.
“Maybe I did… maybe I didn’t” is the worst response you could give to a cop
Showed up to parents’ day with my family and I had already pre-gamed with my little brother before we got there. He was a major lightweight and I didn’t realize that when we decided to down a handle of Jack between the two of us. We end up getting to the frat and he is completely sloshed, introducing himself to every Mom in sight. I end up crushing a few more beers and get hit with the spins. We both end up pulling trig underneath the neighboring fraternities dye table while we thought no one was looking, that was not the case. It resulted in him being asked to leave my frats parents’ day.
Your parents must be so proud
I got an ambulance called on me for eating cheese. During move-in weekend my senior fall semester. My fraternity was going to have the obligatory party. To pregame for it I went to my rugby team’s darty. We were drinking for about 7 hours and before I left I filled three water cannons full of jungle juice and took them all. I went back to my chapter house and blacked out. I was told in the morning I got the cops and ambulance called on us. I went into the fridge and started eating queso fresco (the crumbly cheese in Mexican food) then fell onto the floor of our kitchen. I also was doing the shoot while on the floor. The crumbled cheese in my mouth mixed with drunk flailing made it look like I was having a seizure. When the ambulance showed up my brothers were explaining that I was eating to which I walked out there and offered the ambulance workers some of the queso fresco.
The craziest part of this story is how you were able to steal that much Jungle Juice from a party.
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