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Celebrities I Wish Were Pornstars

Let’s not beat around the bush. There are a ton of celebrities that we’d all like to see naked – or at least see naked on a way more frequent basis. Sure, we’re blessed by glorious nude scenes in Euphoria, but I think all of us would be perfectly okay with Sydney Sweeney switching from actress to “adult film star.” Here are some of the celebrities I wish were pornstars.

Note: I will not be including Willem Dafoe. For any of you that were unaware, his penis is apparently so big that a director had to get someone with a smaller one to dick-double in Antichrist because everyone thought his dong might be too distracting.

Jennifer Aniston

The closest we’ve ever gotten to seeing Jennifer Aniston headlining a video with Johnny Sins was that scene from We’re the Millers where she gave every dude seeing that movie in theaters a raging erection. It’s a crime that she’s never agreed to film anything in her birthday suit, but she’s reached an age where just a couple uploads to Pornhub would cement her as the #1 MILF on their leaderboards.

LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 25: Actress Jennifer Aniston attends the 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on January 25, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Megan Fox

I’ve watched that scene from Jennifer’s Body more times than I care to admit. I’m pretty anti-Only Fans because there’s enough free stuff out there, but in a list of women that I’d pay to see XXX content from, Megan Fox is probably at the top. She seems content posting awesome pictures on Instagram that force men everywhere to use their imagination more than we’d like to, which is a damn shame for masturbators everywhere.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – MAY 18: Megan Fox attends the 2023 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Launch at Hard Rock Hotel New York on May 18, 2023 in New York City. (Photo by Taylor Hill/WireImage)

Livvy Dunne

I’ve been secretly hoping for Livvy Dunne’s iCloud to get hacked since I discovered her a couple years ago. Her making the switch to a starring role in a Brazzers series would weigh less on my conscience.

HOLLYWOOD, FLORIDA – MAY 20: Olivia “Livvy” Dunne attends as Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Celebrates the 2023 Issue Release with Swimsuit Island at The Guitar Hotel at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino on May 20, 2023 in Hollywood, Florida. (Photo by Alberto Tamargo/Getty Images for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit)

Beyoncé

I’ll never understand how Jay Z was able to cheat on her. I mean seriously, there’s no upgrading there. Anyway, if Beyoncé really wanted to get back at him (Lemonade couldn’t have been enough), I think Naughty America would be more than happy to get her on camera. 

NEW YORK, NY – MAY 02: Beyonce attends the “Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology” Costume Institute Gala at Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

Salma Hayek

There’s two reasons Quentin Tarantino wrote that her character had to stuff her foot in his mouth in From Dusk ‘Til Dawn. First, he has a foot fetish. Second, she is a national treasure of cleavage. If acting roles ever dry up for her, I know for a fact that she would garner the largest audience of her career by simply taking part in penetration on camera.

BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA – JANUARY 05: Salma Hayek attends the 77th Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 05, 2020 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

This list could go on forever, and since I don’t have time to write explanations for every single entry, I’ll do a rapid fire list with the justification being: I want to see them naked all the time.

  • Scarlett Johannsen
  • Hailee Steinfeld
  • Natalie Portman
  • Ana de Armas
  • Alexandra Daddario
  • Emma Watson
  • Rihanna
  • Blake Lively
  • Selena Gomez
  • Kristen Bell
  • Charlize Theron
  • Amanda Seyfreid
  • Jessica Biel
  • Jessica Alba
  • Jennifer Lawrence
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt
  • Jennifer Lopez
  • Shakira
  • Rosaria Dawson
  • Hayden Panattiere
  • Kiera Knightly
  • Olivia Wilde
  • Mila Kunis
  • Ariana Grande
  • Doja Cat
  • Eva Mendes
  • Amber Heard
  • Bianca Kajlich
  • Isla Fisher
  • Amy Adams
  • Zendaya
  • Sofia Vergara
  • Julie Bowen
  • Most of the Kardashians/Jenners (Not Caitlyn)
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Written by TFM

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