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Comparing The Atlanta Hawks Roster To Porn Stars

If you’ve read my other blogs, you know how excited I am about this Knicks vs. Hawks series. What better way to be excited than keep pumping out content and finding porn stars to compare rosters to. Me comparing Knicks to porn stars did great, so why not do it for the Hawks roster at all. As a Knicks fan, you know I already hate this Hawks team, so I’m giving you this warning because the porn stars I found are something…

Trae Young is Belladonna

You see that haircut; that is what Trae should do. Instead, he is battling going bald with long hair. It’s okay; Trae shave it all off. It’ll be a better transition going from a buzzed hairstyle to completely bald. I’m assuming that Belladonna thought that being a bald porn star would change the porn game. Well, I’ve never watched any of her videos, and I don’t ever plan to. Trae thought he would come into the league and change the league with extremely deep 3’s, but instead, he shoots bricks. Nobody wants to watch deep 3’s, and his own teammates don’t like to play like this.

Kevin Huerter is Rainia Belle

I don’t hate Kevin Huerter as much as I hate Trae so I actually gave him a hot porn star comparison. Not going to lie all I did was google red hair porn stars. With a nickname like Red Velvet I had to find a red hair porn star.

Tony Snell is the guy in Cuckhold video’s who sits in the corner

Tony Snell is making 12 million this year for averaging 5.3 points. He’s practically useless, which is what every guy in the corner is. Snell watches the game, and he even might play in the game, but he doesn’t actually do anything.

Danilo Gallinari is Vale Nappi 

Italian basketball player, Italian porn star, it’s very simple. With Danilo being a former Knick, he will always be a Knick, so I couldn’t give him the worst Italian porn star.

Lou Williams is Heather Harmon 

If you’re an OG of the internet, seeing that name brings you back to the early 2000s. Back in the day, when you used to watch an entire picture load in slow sections, you would first see their face, then their tits, and then finally the rest of their body would load. This is how long it seems like Lou Williams has been in the league. He’s been on practically every team during his 15 year NBA career. Heather Harmon made her debut back into porn this year, and Lou returned to Atlanta this year.

With all of this slander I have one thing left to say. GO KNICKS!!

What do you think?

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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