in

Disney Adults vs. Dragsters: World War Woke

In the world of Bud Light not even being able to give beer away and Target sales dropping drastically, we have another breaking “news” headline in an age of wokeness being shoved down our throats. Today’s story? Disneyland threw a man in a dress, called him “Fairy Godmother,” and let him keep his mustache.

The “Fairy Godmother”:

Oh sorry. This dude didn’t even make it to full “Fairy Godmother” status. He’s still just an apprentice. Unsurprisingly, there was a whole lot of backlash across social media when anti-woke people really hated this decision. You’re not asking for them, but I have a few thoughts on the matter. I’m going to share them with you now:

Why, Disneyland? Just, why? That’s my biggest question. If you’re going to put a dude in a dress and call it “inclusivity,” whatever. I outgrew Disneyland at the age of nine and have zero desire to ever go back, so I’ll never see one of these… displays… again. BUT. If you are going to do it, can you at least tell the dude to shave his stache? In a place that will quite literally fire someone if they speak in their costume or break character whatsoever, this feels like a massive oversight in continuity. 

Like I said, I truly believe that this whole thing is just stupid on Disney’s part. It just doesn’t make sense. With that being said, I have no sympathy for the adults complaining about it. In my eyes, Disney adults are one millimeter below people that will defend this move on the scales of batshit insane. I think the rule of thumb should be that if you’re old enough to jerk off, you’re too old for Disney.

So, in conclusion. Disney is making a joke of themselves. Putting a man in a dress and letting him keep the mustache at Disneyland should automatically mean that he can’t be referred to as “Fairy Godmother.” But the people with office jobs and 401ks that are going to Disney just for fun? Without dragging obnoxious children along? You’re almost just as despicable. Grow up.

Written by Tim Moxey

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

To comment, fill out your name and email below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Jay Cutler: Bear Slayer For Life

Tom Brady to the Raiders, actually?