College is full of ups and downs. The downs can be real bad, but the ups make them worth it. Here’s my list of the eight best feelings in college.
The First Sip of Beer on the Weekend
Don’t get me wrong, any first sip of beer is going to be awesome, but the first one of the weekend is in a tier of its own. The moment it hits your lips it sends signals throughout your body that the week’s responsibilities are over, and it’s time to be a degenerate.
A Nap Between a Darty and Going Out
Drinking from 10am to 6pm is enough to make anyone tired, especially if you’re planning to go out later that night. The two hour nap sandwiched in the middle of those two events is close enough to sexual that it may involve a wet dream.
It won’t be nearly as fun when you wake up on Monday morning, but abandoning all academic responsibilities to sit down and watch seven hours of commercial free football is better than therapy.
“Class Canceled” Emails
Waking up to a message from your professor that a morning class is canceled, giving you another two hours to sleep is the college equivalent of winning the lottery.
Submitting Your Last Final
The last final submission of the semester, whether it’s turning in an exam or uploading a paper to Canvas, is like finishing a particularly intense poop. The journey may not have been fun, but it feels sort of worth it when you get the relief that comes later.
You quite literally feel like the entire world is at your fingertips. Nothing can stop you, and nothing will stop you.
A Morning Back Crack
It often feels like there’s only one reason to lift your back from your bed in the morning, and that feeling becomes reality when you feel your entire spine snap into its correct position. The “Oh my god” that follows it will make your roommates think that you’re loudly orgasming, and in all honesty, I’m not sure which feels better.
A Hail Mary Lay Hitting
The desire to win hundreds of dollars on a mere five or ten dollar bet is what keeps me from deleting my FanDuel account, and the fact that it’s happened a couple of times is prolonging my love for gambling. Dropping the screenshot in the fellas’ group chat is essentially saying, “Bow down before me.” You’ll lose it all in a week, but watching the last leg hit solidifies that you’ll continue chasing these bets down.