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Flight Turned Around Due to Explosive Diarrhea

On a recent flight from Atlanta to Barcelona, there was a safety emergency that forced the plane to turn around. Safety might be the wrong word. Either way, the pilot was left with no other options but to turn the plane around. Unfortunately for that entire plane, man sprayed diarrhea in the middle of the aisle of the plane. 

While the plane was over Virginia, the unnamed (thank god for his sake) passenger was unable to make it to the bathroom. In his panic, he made it to the aisle, where he made a drip of stinky brown water. It ran across the floor of the entire cabin, creating an unmatched Dutch oven. The captain was supposedly the calmest one on the plane. It could be a result of training. More, likely, is the fact that he was one of two people not in a giant vacuum sealed porta potty. 

This is one of the worst situations imaginable. It’s bad for the people who had to deal with this smell. Their movies were interrupted, and their vacations delayed, all because a man had no control over his bowels. That being said, absolutely no one had it worse than this guy. Do you think anyone offered the guy a pair of pants in his crappy aftermath? I’d imagine the flight attendants had other cleaning tasks, and everyone else avoided this guy like the plague. 

The one positive that can come of this is the plot of the next classic plane thriller. Denzel flew planes drunk, Liam Neeson stopped terrorists on a flight, and Samuel L. stopped the snakes. I think the next progression in this is to have an air marshal who needs to save the plane, all while avoiding the fecal smell that is distracting the cabin. It might be a bit more Andy Samberg than Samuel L. Jackson, but it would still be a hit. It could even be called, “Waste on a Plane,” and it’d probably still score in the fifties on Rotten Tomatoes.

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Written by TFM

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