Four Great Alcohols You’ve Never Heard Of

Liquor aisles nowadays look just like college brochure covers. They are wildly diverse with too many different colors and logos to choose from. Everyone thinks they can make alcohol these days from Ryan Reynolds to incarcerated porn star Ron Jeremy (yup, it’s true). Anway, due to the oversaturation of the alcohol industry, I feel like there are so many great drinks that fly under the radar. To bring some of my favorites to light, here are four alcohols you haven’t heard of but need to try.

Disclaimer: TFM was not paid in any way to write this blog. I just felt like sharing my dumb opinions with all of you. You’re welcome.

Loyal 9

This might be the greatest soft alcohol on the face of the planet. I am not exaggerating. Loyal 9 is a lemonade vodka mixie in a can. It is non-carbonated which makes them super easy to digest and chug. However, unlike beer and seltzer, you won’t actually need to chug these because they taste so good. I’m not playing when I tell you these taste like straight up lemonade. You could legitimately serve these at a child’s birthday and the kids would have no idea aside from it making the fall of their tricycles (you also may get arrested for that). The point is that Loyal 9s are fantastic and at 9% ABV they do a serious amount of damage (in a good way). The reason you haven’t heard of them is because they’re not sold everywhere. However, they have recently begun selling online right here


This isn’t the first time I’ve written about Monaco, but I’m confident it’s the first you’re hearing of them. If you are already familiar with them, congratulations on being such a cool dude. If you aren’t familiar, welcome to your new favorite drink. Monacos have two full shots of alcohol in them and taste like fruit punch. They are similar to Loyal 9 with a fruity taste and 9% ABV, yet retain carbonation like a seltzer and utilize gin, rum, and tequila in addition to vodka. Essentially, a Monaco is a fruity long island iced tea. Is it made for elegant occasions? No chance. Will it turn your tongue blue? Depends on the flavor. Could it result in you having the time of your life? Absolutely.

Western Son Vodka

If you live in Texas, it is very possible you know Western Son. Distilled in Pilot Point, TX, Western Son is a flavored vodka company. Before you all jump down my throat, please understand that this isn’t a high school flavored vodka like Pink Whitney or Cotton Candy Svedka. Western Son makes simple, fruit flavored vodka. For example, some of my favorites are blueberry, watermelon, and prickly pear. It’s a corn-based vodka and sits at a slightly lower ABV for vodka at 30%. They do however sell an unflavored vodka for 40% ABV. Any and all of the flavored vodkas can easily be enjoyed on the rocks, but for us pansies out there I like to mix mine with either some Sprite or lemonade. I swear you can make two ingredients drinks that taste like $14 cocktails. Give them a try if you can find them, or just click here.

Honey Nut Beerios

Have you ever poured yourself a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios using beer instead of milk? Didn’t think so. Give it a try at your next pregame. You won’t regret it, trust me.

Alex Becker

Written by Alex Becker

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