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Hugh Hefner’s Son Starts Onlyfans to Fund Pokémon Habit

The Hefner family is continuing the tradition of profiting off of the naked body. Unfortunately, this time it’s his nerdy looking son, Marston. Marston is shoving stuff up his ass on Onlyfans so he can get buy Pokémon cards. Apparently, this is to the disappointment of his wife who seems to be the voice of reason in this situation. He also added that he would totally support his wife if she decided to join the platform. But no one asked, so clearly it’s just something that he wants. 

Clearly, we are dealing with an irrational thinker here. This guy grew up with literally every single edition of Playboy ever created in his house, and still decided that he’d collect Pokémon cards. His lack of noticing the obvious is clear, and it was on full display when he was asked about his new career path. He bragged about his Pokémon related content, while also describing his other sexual material, and ignoring his wife’s hatred for his newfound hobby.  

With the way the world has become accepting of sex workers, I appreciate that he brought up the Pokémon aspect of his job so we could still clown him. I imagine his wife cringing every time he tells someone, “I filmed myself putting things in my butt so I could get this new Charizard.” I respect the hustle that Onlyfans creators go through. In my opinion, it’s wild to pay for someone’s nudes when internet porn is and always will be an option. It’s still a valiant hustle nonetheless. Just take Onlyfans out of the description for this situation. A man plays with his pooper so he can pay for Pokémon cards. It kinda sounds like Pokémon cards is a euphemism for crack doesn’t it.

Respect to Hefner for his new stream of income, I guess. Also, good luck to him in overcoming his crippling addiction to Pokémon cards.

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Written by TFM

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