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Man Poops in Pierce Brosnan’s Backyard

A man was recently apprehended in Malibu after pooping in the backyard of Pierce Brosnan’s neighbor, before walking over to Brosnan’s house and washing himself off in his outdoor shower. Clearly, the James Bond actor is retired, because he called the cops to deal with the man instead of taking justice into his own hands. Either that, or he didn’t want to apprehend a naked man covered in feces in his backyard. Can’t say I can blame him for not wanting to get his hands dirty in that way.

The police showed up and the man fleed. He was eventually found by a police helicopter hiding near the coast along some rocks. I’m confused why he didn’t start his adventure at the beach. He could’ve found a secluded spot, dug a little hole in the sand, and made his own personal shitter in nature’s backyard. This sounds way more relaxed than wondering if the owner of the backyard you are dropping mud on is home. I understand the need to clean yourself after what sounds like a pretty desperate poop. But that’s what the ocean is for boss. 

I’d imagine that being homeless in Malibu is better than anywhere else in the world. The temperature outside in Malibu at any given time is better than the one in my bedroom right now. Also, there is a lot of wealth going around that area. I’m not saying an actor is more likely to give them a few bucks than anyone else is. But there is more to mooch from in the Malibu area than anywhere else. A few weeks ago, someone broke into Owen Wilson’s house and tried on his bathrobe. Now some guy got to try James Bond’s shower? I might go to Malibu with the intention of trying to use as much cool celebrity stuff as possible. Who said homeless people get to have all the fun?

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Written by TFM

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