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Man Steals Bike, Distracts Dog with Belly Rub

This has to be the world’s calmest thief of all-time.

A thief broke into a man’s house in San Diego and stole a bike from his garage. As he was in the garage grabbing a bike, the owner’s golden retriever approached the man to see what he was up to. The man started petting the golden retriever, and the dog loved it. At one point while patting the dog’s belly, he even looks at the security camera and says, “Your dad should know not to leave your garage open.” Don’t let his demeanor fool you. This man is a psychopath. 

This story actually happened last month, but the San Diego Police Department didn’t make it public until they recently captured the forty-two-year-old thief. The dog has gotten a lot of credit for this, but I’m not exactly sure why. The thief was a moron, who was basically asking to be caught. The dog could’ve obliged, but instead it saw an opportunity for some loving, and took it. 

Honestly, all parties in this situation should be embarrassed. Let’s start with the homeowner, as they are the grand champion of stupidity in this story. This guy not only left a full garage open for anyone to help themselves to his stuff, he also let his dog walk out there with no supervision. This guy has no clue what’s going on in his house, and he paid the price for it.

Next, let’s talk about this thief who actually took the time to look at the camera and flex on his victim. I’m guessing this guy has lifelong commitment issues, as he couldn’t decide between a prank and a crime. As a result, this guy was put in the back of a squad car where he can rethink his decisions. 

Finally, the dog’s actions must be critiqued. It pains me to say this, but that good boy doesn’t have an ounce of fight in him. If the owner wants to be this complacent about his belongings, he needs a second dog. One who’s willing to fight a little bit. This retriever looks like a great dog, but it doesn’t make him any less of a coward. 

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Written by TFM

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