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Michael Rapaport Reports TFM: Proving He’s Softer Than My Penis After Six Double Rum & Cokes

I don’t even know what to say at this point. I honestly don’t know what’s worse: the fact that fifty-five-year-old Michael Rapaport threatened a college kid’s family

or that Instagram is protecting him. I don’t want to sound like some tinfoil hat Alex Jones consuming redneck, but the fact that Instagram is seriously considering suspending the TFM account over “bullying” MICHAEL RAPAPORT makes me really question the leadership in big social media companies. If you missed what happened last night on our Instagram page, you could find a summary here; if not, I’ll give you the rundown. 

After getting DPed by Portnoy and Kevin Durant, this pile of sun-baked mayo

decided to respond to some hate DMs coming his way by narking every kid who had fraternity letters in their bio to their school and nationals. He took it as far as claiming he set up a meeting with San Diego State’s dean today because some Phi Kappa Psi’s hurt his feelings. The self-proclaimed “king of trash talk” spent his Wednesday evening crying in his kitchen and creating Wii Mii characters of himself with a darker skin tone. 

This guy looks like a wet bandaid on the ground of a waterpark. This motherfucker sounds like Paula Abdul having an orgasm. I don’t think there’s any way to recover from this. How does one spend their entire career dishing it, and then when they finally get some flack…they aren’t able to take it? HE TURNED HIS COMMENTS OFF. He reported TFM to Instagram! For god’s sake, the guy set up meetings with deans across schools. We are talking about a guy that took advantage of our political climate to “cancel” a black athlete over saying the words cum guzzler.

This team has worked too fucking hard making this company relevant again, and if we lose that to Michael Rapaport I swear to god I’m going to NYC and making him a shish kabob (joke for legal purposes)…because he’s a huge pussy. 

PS: I don’t know how I hate the actual Michael Rapaport more than Don Self. What a shitty character in a fantastic show. 

PPS: If TFM actually goes under, don’t let my name die in vain. 

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Written by Bobby D'Angelo

TFM middle school penis game champion. Rutgers student.

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