in

New Superman is Super Hung

James Gunn has cast the Superman for his upcoming DCU reset. And boy is he super. Yesterday, the news that David Corenswet would play the next live action Clark Kent broke online. Immediately afterward, fans found pictures of him at the beach where his impractically large dong sizable manhood was on display. I’m not a big fan of comic book movies, but I already like this casting. The guy is playing someone from another planet, and his pecker reflects that.

I think it will be very interesting to see a Superman whose kryptonite is a tight pair of jeans. Or perhaps a short pair of boxers. James Gunn is a goofy dude. He’s the only director in the world crazy enough to make a Superman a figure for dick jokes. I hope he does it. Superhero movies are all pretty much the same. I think it’s time for one of them to break the mold with by showing an immortal figure use an excessively long johnson as a weapon.

This is an example of the inevitable media attention heading to a man who got cast as the character on most young boy’s bedsheets growing up. It’s the unfortunate truth. But I’m sure he has a team of people to support him as the internet nitpicks his wang. Fortunately for him, he falls on the right side of the spectrum, so the jokes at least complimentary.

David Corenswet will gather a bigger female audience for the DCU than anything Marvel has ever approached. More accurately, his dick will command that audience. This is the same reason that the lead in every chick flick is smoking hot. If you are going to make a movie designed for one gender, you have to give some sex appeal to the people in the other gender who might be forced to sit through it.

David Corenswet seems like a good actor. He is a fine choice for the role based on his talent alone. Still, congrats on the killer piece, Superman. 

total frat move logo

Written by TFM

To comment, fill out your name and email below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Alix Earle’s Summer Posts Are What We All Needed

Tana Mongeau Showed Off Body in Turks and Caicos