Alex Becker
Science has told us a bunch of weird stuff lately. A couple weeks ago some study came out and said that vegans are less likely to get employed, while another one determined that men like boobs with nipples that are closer together. Well, today I learned that watching porn leads to eating disorders in men.
This study comes out of Israel, so despite what Kanye thinks, it was probably done by intelligent people and definitely had a hefty amount of funding. Published in Body Image Magazine, this research study used a sample of 1,000 men (68% of which were straight) to determine how porn affects the male eating pattern. In the end, researchers claimed they found a direct link between porn habits and eating disorders.
Without getting too boring, basically the study asked all of the men about their porn habits and their eating patterns. All men were given the same statements and had to say how true each of them were to themselves based on a scale of 1-7 (1 being never and 7 being all the time). Some of the statements included things like “I felt that porn is an important part of my life” and “I became stressed when something prevented me from watching porn.”
Researchers then monitored eating behaviors and used survey questions to determine which of the respondents practiced unhealthy eating habits. After examining all of the data, researchers concluded that men who watch porn more regularly are more likely to compare their bodies to those on screen and take part in binging and purging practices.
Basically, the science nerds are saying dudes that watch a lot of porn will come to believe they should look more like Johnny Sins and develop eating disorders such as bulimia (the one where you pull trig everytime after you eat).
So obviously, this study was done by all women. Any guy knows that when watching porn we try to focus all of our attention on the beautiful naked women. I know this may be hard to believe, but we don’t actually look at the dude at all, no matter how jacked he is. Of course, sometimes we get a glimpse and compare ourselves to the dude with the best job in the world, but that’s more thinking about what pills or Austin Powers penis enlarger we should buy than anything else.
Trust me, dudes with serious porn addictions are usually fat, ugly, losers who live in their mom’s basement and have never even kissed a girl. Maybe those are the dudes who should look at guys with cross tattoos right next to their junk and compare themselves. I’m not saying they should go bulimic or anorexic, but some lifestyle changes definitely wouldn’t be the worst thing for them.
At the end of the day, all guys hate their bodies — even the ones in the pornos. It’s not because we see other guys that we want to like, but because we see what girls want us to look like and know that will never be achievable (unless we diet and exercise 🤮🤮🤮).
I guess what I’m trying to say is that none of us care about the other guy in any scenario. It’s always about the girl. Whether she is the one we’re watching get pounded by a group of BBCs (somehow writing BBC felt less racist than saying “black dudes”) or the one that sits next to us in math that we’re afraid to ever speak to. The only people that can impact our bodies are the ones with bodies we want to get into.
