Scientists Discover How to Make Babies Without Sex, Finally!

According to the New York Post, scientists have achieved a groundbreaking feat by creating synthetic human embryos using stem cells, without the need for sperm or an egg. These embryo models have the potential to develop into viable living organisms, although the exact outcome remains uncertain. This scientific breakthrough is expected to ignite intense debates regarding its ethical, legal, and scientific implications.

Let me fire off some takes so you understand where my brain is at in all of this.

  1. This feels like the opening scene of a dreadful movie, the kind that makes you spot its poster while strolling towards the theater, only to think, “That appears absolutely terrible,” and promptly carry on without a second thought.
  2. I am now immune to any mockery regarding my lack of sexual experiences.
  3. You can create a new life without the discomfort of confessing to your parents that you engaged in unprotected intimacy with the woman you recently encountered at Applebee’s.

Today, I poured my thoughts into a blog post about Black Mirror and a drinking game that goes along with every episode, and now I’m about to spill some extra juice on a similar topic. Seriously, why does science insist on taking things to the absolute extreme? I mean, I was promised flying cars and those awesome Back to the Future shoes. But what have I got instead? Zyns and scientists telling me to put a stop to my intimate endeavors. Talk about a major buzzkill. Science, you really know how to take the fun out of things, don’t you? The last time science was cool is when they told us to have oral sex during COVID.

Written by TFM Stelly

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