Slang Saturday: Volume IX

I don’t know what was up with Urban Dictionaries random button, but every word I got today had something to do with sex. Maybe I watched porn a couple of too many times on my laptop or the fact that I wrote an entire blog comparing porn stars to the Knicks roster. Anyway, I got some hilarious sex words, and even though I don’t think anybody has ever done this, they are still funny to imagine.

Remember when Pokemon Go was the biggest thing since sliced bread? There were stories of people wandering into stranger’s backyards so that they could virtually catch a Pokemon. I’m at the perfect age when Pokemon blew up. I, of course, played on my Gameboy, but I was never that into it. I deeply regret not collecting cards; maybe I could afford to go to a Knicks playoff game. Imagine starting a bush fire and having the concretion to cum. I also love that they say to get a Charzarding mug for your girlfriend. You know what shows love is getting your girlfriend a mug that says you’re going to light her pubes on fire and then put it out with your cum.

I feel like there are too many things happening. How are you supposed to accomplish all of this in only 7 seconds? Whoever wrote this throws around luck like they are talking about a god damn Leprechaun. Either this person has become a Lucky Pierre, or they are very jealous.

Watching Blacked is demoralizing; how are you supposed to touch your inchworm when you see guys with 3rd arms? I included this one mostly because Urban Dictionary is advertising to get a mug for your coworker Julia. This would immediately get your ass sent to HR.

This one will get you sent straight to jail, and instead of giving a girl an angry dragon, you’ll be eating a cock meat sandwich.

Everybody knows the meme of when she keeps sucking after you cum; imagine the feeling of getting kicked in the nuts after you cum. I wonder if it would hurt more or less than normal? I’m waiting for there to be an update after Draymond poked LeBron in the eye. Once again, Urban Dictionary does not realize what their ads mean. Maybe your daughter-in-law is a big Warriors fan, and she sees that she got a Draymond Green mug, but she would then be shocked after reading the back.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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