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Slang Saturday Volume V

Another week has passed which means another weekend to find random words that most people never actually use, but are funny. I think that next Slang Saturday is going to be slang from Letterkenny. I don’t know if there’s a lot of crossover of TFM fans, and Letterkenny fans, but I fucking love that show. Anyway, pitter-patter let’s get at her. The first random word is…

This word was 10000% created because people think they’re fucking geniuses because they downloaded Robinhood. You go on Twitter or talk to anybody they tell you about how their stock is going to the moon. Somebody reads Wall Street Bets once, and they are telling you how they’ve found the next Gamestop. This is the 2021 version of C.R.E.A.M., and it’s a lot less cool when bros in polos are talking about money compared to Method Man. The second random word is…

There’s no shame in this. I encourage more people to pull a Friday on a Wednesday. Shit, we should be doing this on Monday and Tuesday as well. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are all party days, and we can’t forget about Thirsty Thursdays. This summer is going to be one of the best summers, and it should be parties 24/7.

Everybody had one fictional character that instantly came to mind when they read this. For me, it was Blake Lively when she played Krista Coughlin in The Town. Good lord, was she smoking in that movie. She was the trashy girl who you know has probably slept with half of the town, but you don’t care. You’re willing to throw away all of your responsibilities for one night with her. So what character did you think of? Was it Mrs. Incredible’s thick ass or Megan Fox in Transformers? The third random word is…

Boys we are only six days away, get that bush shaved, and be prepared to get the perfect angle to make your dick look not so small. Make sure to read Bobby’s guide on how to take a dick pic. I don’t believe that the example that they used is that easy, but hey it’s worth a shot.

You think this is what happens every time you walk into a bar with your brand new Jordans and your snapback that perfectly matches your shirt. In reality, that shit is as dry as the Sahara desert. Maybe after the drinks are flowing, you’ll have a chance. But you’ll probably end up spending the night with JILL as you try not to throw up all over yourself.

What do you think?

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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