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Stories Of The Week

At TFM, we love sharing the fucking ridiculousness and debauchery that our followers experience during their nights out. Unfortunately, not every crazy story can be communicated through a 20 second Instagram video. These are the stories that happen when you are too incapacitated, that is too crazy at the moment to whip your phone out, or legally require anonymity. So please enjoy…

Justin:

On the first night of rush, I went to one of the douchiest frats on campus and wound up hooking up with one of the brother’s girlfriends on the dance floor. While dancing with her, I started to see some of the brothers pointing at me and start walking toward me. It was at this moment that I realized who she probably was, and proceeded toward the stairs to leave. The brothers started to jog/run to catch up to me, so as any scrawny freshman would do, I panicked and ran upstairs. As they chased me, I was too drunk to realize where the front door was, and I ended up on the second floor where all of the brothers’ rooms were. They were hot on my tail, so I thought quick, ran, and dove out a window at the end of the hallway. I limped for the hills and never looked back. They got their charter revoked the next semester for hazing their kids too hard. Sorry bastards.

Damn, this kid basically hazed a whole frat.

Dylan:

The boys were absolutely rinsed at 3am after a party. We stumbled across the street to a car wash that’s being built and stole a forklift. We drove it to our fraternity house and got it stuck in the backyard, had an alum brother come tow us out. We drove it back across the street an hour later and watched the construction guys work on it the next day. We told a bartender at a popular pub in our town the forklift story and he changed “green tea” shots to “forklift” shots on the menu for the night. Never seen anything like it.

Hes even got a photo as proof:

Ryan:

This kid in my HS thinks it’s funny to just take handful of random prescription pills. Just be a complete retard. One night we were at this girls house and he got super fucked up and went on a search for some pills. He ended up finding a bottle, ripped the cap off and took like 8 of em. Fast forward maybe like 30 mins and he’s on the ground fuckin screaming and groaning. We look at the pills and they are dog deworming pills. That shit was absolutely ripping up his stomach and he starts literally rocketing shit everywhere. Of course the one bitch that calls her self the mom of the group brought him to the bathroom, took off all his clothes except his underwear, and left him to wallow in a bathtub of his own shit. I didn’t hear from him for a while but when I did it turned out he was shitting so fast and so hard, it almost tore his intentions and he had to go to the hospital the next day because of how loose it made his asshole. If you are gonna learn anything from this it’s to at least read the pills before you take them.

Literally was in a world of shit.

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