Stories Of The Week

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At TFM, we love sharing the fucking ridiculousness and debauchery that our followers experience during their nights out. Unfortunately, not every crazy story can be communicated through a 20 second Instagram video. These are the stories that happen when you are too incapacitated, that is too crazy at the moment to whip your phone out, or legally require nothing more than a first name. Usually, we share 3 medium-to-long stories, but today we thought we’d share a couple short stories that get right down to the point and may have a visual aid. So please enjoy…


Pregamed WAYYY too aggressively at Vegas formal. Was fine for the first hour or so before huggin a toilet for the bulk of the night. During awards, I was named “Mr. Herdsman” (for allegedly pulling fat chicks), and apparently, I said, “what the fuck, my date isn’t fucking fat. Look at her!” (While having 0 memory of me actually saying that. Don’t remember a damn thing except vaguely walking from Caesars Palace to Planet Hollywood in shower slippers yet having my shoes in my hand:


We caught a shark on Myrtle beach and brought it back to campus and had a huge shark party cookout. Threw the tail fin on top of the pool house and ended up blacking out and fucking some girl on the balcony In front of probably 200 people.


While in my Jr. year as a physics student, I had 24-hour access to a lab for my research projects. I used to take every chick I hoped up with for the following 2 years to that lab and bang on the desk until one time a local Starbucks cashier from the school (who I had met that night) gave me chlamydia and I subsequently gave it to my girlfriend shortly after. We are still going on 7 years strong.


Got drunk and hit a live fish’s head off:


Spring break this year in Florida my friends and I have been drinking all day and one of my friends didn’t stop drinking from the day before and hasn’t eaten anything. Ends up passing out and then pisses himself in bed, we move him to the couch, and pissed himself there, back to the bed, and pissed a 3rd time. We finally took him to the hospital where he recorded a .405 BAC, a hospital record. And also since he didn’t eat, the doctors said he was feeling effects of a .8 bac.


So basically I was talking to two girls from my university. The one I was talking to for about two weeks and she was a senior, and the other was a first-year like me. I set up a date for the one on Friday and the other one on Saturday. For the one on Friday, we ended up having sex. The next day I text the other one, and she ends up telling me that I had sex with her sister on Friday. I had no idea that they were sisters so I ended up banging a potential date’s sister without even knowing.

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