TFM
The Irish Goodbye is the greatest thing ever. It allows you to leave a place you no longer want to be. It makes you seem like a really cool person once you leave. Most importantly, it sounds like a term you’d read off of Urban Dictionary, but you can still say it in front of your mother. The Irish Goodbye is unmatched, but it doesn’t mean other countries don’t deserve a signature exit of their own. Here are ten good ones.
British Goodbye
This is a regular goodbye, except you spell everything wrong while doing it.
Scottish Goodbye
This is kind of like an Irish Goodbye. Start out the same as you would for an Irish Goodbye. The main difference, is when you get to the door and play a killer bagpipe solo instead of leaving.
Canadian Goodbye
Before you are about to leave, you fix the host’s leaky sink and hide a twenty-dollar bill in their house before thanking them profusely and exiting.
American Goodbye
This is executed by simply saying goodbye in your best Scott Hanson impression.
Italian Goodbye
This is a regular goodbye, but with really expressive hands.
German Goodbye
Get everyone’s attention, make a speech, leave, and invade your neighbor’s house.
French Goodbye
This is just a regular goodbye, but with tongue.
Japanese Goodbye
Say goodbye, and morally object to the film Oppenheimer.
Russian Goodbye
Declare a race to say goodbye first, aggressively advertise it, then lose it.
North Korean Goodbye
Claim the top half of the room, and then start threatening everyone in the other half.
Here’s four more, because “Fourteen nations that need their own Irish Goodbye,” doesn’t sound as clean.
Chinese Goodbye
Buy a custom pack of fortune cookies that say goodbye on the inside, and drop them at places when you leave.
Indian Goodbye
This is simply saying goodbye, but in a place that has more people than it can comfortably fit.
Mexican Goodbye
Find a way to wrap your goodbye in a tortilla.
Slovenian Goodbye
Say goodbye to Luka Doncic.
