The Three Worst People You’ll Meet in College

Throughout your time in college, you’ll make some lifelong friends and bond with guys over your shared interests: boobs and beer. There will, unfortunately, be a lot of people that you cross paths with who suck worse than a sexually inexperienced girl with braces, so here are three of the worst people you’ll meet in college.

THAT Guy From Your Freshman Floor

This may not come as a surprise, but when you put forty random guys on a dorm floor together, they’re not all going to be normal. Some of the strangest creatures you could ever imagine dwell in the shadows during orientation week before getting way too comfortable around a bunch of dudes they barely know and start being themselves.

A lot of those kids will make you laugh and you’ll be on good enough terms to say hello and even grab a meal with them if you see them in the dining hall, but there will always be one kid who introduces himself to you by entering your room uninvited and hopping up on your bed with no shoes on, which will freak you out greatly because you’ve never seen him put on shower shoes. No one likes to be a jerk, but if you want to send the message that his antics aren’t going to fly, you’ll have to make it aggressively clear that you’re not okay with him showing you his testicular mole.


I’ve talked extensively about my pure hatred for any professor that has the audacity to give out participation grades, but my hatred for people that live to participate in a college class might be even stronger. While the rest of the normal people in your class sit there quietly and do the bare minimum, there’s always going to be one person that decides to share thoughts with the class at every given opportunity. The biggest issue with these people is that it doesn’t stop in the confines of the classroom. They also feel the need to treat the class GroupMe, which is supposed to be used to cheat on homework assignments, like it’s their own personal lifestyle blog. It doesn’t matter that they haven’t received a response to any of their life updates since Morgan Wallen said the N word, either. It will happen all semester.

Major Complainers

For the most part, everyone in college is on the same page: classes suck, they’re too much work, and none of us want to be doing schoolwork. There are some, though, that decide that the major they’ve chosen gives them the right to constantly complain about how difficult their academic life is. For the people out there that like to let their roommates and friends know that their studies are way harder than anything anyone else is doing, take a listen to me right now: shut up. You picked what you’re studying, so you don’t get to complain about how hard it is. If it’s really that much of an issue, you should switch to something easier or invest in a muzzle because we’re all tired of hearing about how tough it is to be you.

So, be on the lookout. Those will be the three worst people you’ll meet in college, but if you’re lucky, you can minimize the massive amounts of damage they’re capable of doing to your social life.

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Written by TFM

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