TFM
After spending most of your night drinking, you’ll undoubtedly end up leaving the bar with a new friendship or two. Here are three friends that you make at the bar.
The Kid From Class
After giving this kid a few “We recognize each other but have never spoken a single word” nods throughout the night, you’ve eventually consumed enough alcohol that your next time running into him comes with a loud, “Dude… don’t we have O-Chem II together?” That piece of information is not only the only thing the two of you have in common, but it’s also the only piece of information you know about the guy.
Despite that, the two of you will partake in a twenty-three minute conversation that ranges from the difficulty of the class, the attractiveness of the TA, and the fact that neither of you has gone to a recitation yet this semester. After you’ve covered all those bases, you shake hands and walk away, which translates to, “We’ll now see each other in class and both loosely remember this conversation, but we won’t say a word to one another until the next time we run into each other while intoxicated.”
The Bathroom Bro
After eight Vodka Red Bulls, you’ll talk to pretty much anyone, which includes the guy that’s using the urinal next to yours. For whatever reason, you decide to let him know, “Don’t worry man, I’m not looking at your penis,” and while most of the time this results in an uncomfortable nod of acknowledgement, you sometimes get a big chuckle and a new friend out of it. Your girlfriend will be wildly uncomfortable with the fact that the two of you met while mutually agreeing not to wash your hands after peeing, but it won’t phase you. Disregarding the slightly gay way that you guys met, he’s a better friend to you for the rest of that evening than the kid that’s going to be your best man one day.
Your Musical Equal
You didn’t expect to have anyone join you in song when you put $9 in the TouchTunes to bump all nine minutes of Meatloaf’s “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” to the top of the queue, but when you notice there’s one other guy in the bar scream-singing, “We were barely seventeen, and we were barely dressed,” you know you’ve made an instant connection. The rest of the night is a cycle of the two of you ignoring every female in the area to put on another song that you can bond over. The only words you’ll speak to each other that aren’t in song will be a “Good stuff, man” followed by a strangely long hug as you leave the bar, but that interaction is really the only thing that you need.
