Waking Up In The Hospital After A Bottle Of Bookers

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At TFM, we love sharing the fucking ridiculousness and debauchery that our followers experience during their nights out. Unfortunately, not every crazy story can be communicated through a 20 second Instagram video. These are the stories that happen when you are too incapacitated, that is too crazy at the moment to whip your phone out, or legally require anonymity. We have been changing the format of these Craziest Stories blogs as more people are submitting them so thank you. Please enjoy…


Friendsgiving and a bottle of bookers. I woke up staring at the treetops in the woods. Thought I was in my buddy’s yard. Not the case I was in the middle of the woods at 8 am with my wallet and car keys. No phone. Make my way to the road to start bumming a ride back to my buddies. Middle age women in a old white van picks me up. “You smell like shit” use her phone to GPS back to my friends. Finally, get back to go home, we’ll my car isn’t at his house anymore. He and I go eat lunch and start calling tow companies. Finally, find my car in an impound lot. The car was picked up by police at a stop sign at like 730am. Window busted out fender hit with a machete or something. Bookers is not your friend.

Drinking bookers is like going through a shitty time machine


Got booted from my parent’s house and 2 weeks later I found myself in Cancun with my 2 best buds at 19. Blacked out the morning of day 2 the last thing I remember was slugging vodka on the toilet while I was shitting listening to 21 questions by 50 cent. Next thing I knew I woke up from a 3-day coma with a catheter in my dick in the ICU with no one who can speak English. Guess I stumbled into the only tree on the whole beach and destroyed my head. Got that shit yanked out, signed my self-release forms, and went right back to the liquor store. Felt great from all the fluids and when we got to the beach we got swarmed by people asking if we need anything and if I was okay. Got free dinner out of it from this loaded family in the resort next to us. I Will send the med records if need proof lmao

I’m sure your parents would be proud to learn how you met a new family


Freshman year of college I went to PCB Florida for a spring break trip. I drink a whole bottle of whiskey and a fifth of vodka before I got into line to go to a nightclub. That is all I remember because I blacked out in line and apparently I was having a great ass time. My friends then left without me and then came back to look for me but I was nowhere to be found. I then wake up at a hospital in PCB Florida because they found me in a porter potty unresponsive with throw-up all over myself. Billed my fake ID so I’m good haha

Damn. who knew asking people for their worst blackout stories would result in multiple hospital visits…

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