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The Truth About Thongs – From A Girl

This is a response to the Dear woman: Thongs article written by VinegarStrokes.

Come little one, let me enlighten you.

The thong. Why we wear it. 

Let me first say the thong is uncomfortable…. At first. Think of an ankle brace or a boot on your foot. It bothers you when you first put it on, then over time, you forget. So we don’t think about it that often. 

Similar to a boot on your foot, when you take it off you are extremely relieved. Taking off a thong is so refreshing. Not only that, if you leave a thong on too long, it starts to feel like your skin and the thong are one. When you take the thong off, it feels like your skin is being ripped from the thong. Taking a thong off after a long hard day, nothing like it.

Now the question is WHY 

When you’re growing up as a middle school/high school girl, you always want to be sexy…. But you’re not. I couldn’t wait to get my period, wear a bra, put on makeup, etc. I wanted to be as hot as Britney Spears. Thus, tight skinny jeans came along to try to make my butt bones look like they had meat on them. Part of being that hot is to ditch the days of the week panties for the days of the week g-string. When I was younger, shopping at Victoria’s Secret was a sign you have become a woman. Even if you’re the only one who sees your lacy underwear that says PINK over your cooch, you are now sexy.

That answers why we buy them, but here is why they exist. 

Ladies like to blame men for social norms such as girls wearing makeup and shaving their legs. The hard truth is, we did this to ourselves. We are competitive as fuck. We love to make each other miserable. We constantly are raising the bar of fashion to shame one another. The thong came to be so that we could shame women for their panty lines. Looking back now, panty lines, if you played it right, are kinda sexy. But no, we women shame each other. You must wear a thong or you are less than. 

I am happy to hear you are a fan of the thong. We’re glad our suffering has brought you joy. Kind of like Jesus would be. We are doing the Lord’s work by having 70 % cotton and 30% spandex squeezed in-between our butt cheeks.

What do you think?

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Written by Sofía Viagra

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