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Whys of the Week ( Part 3)

If you’re like me, you find yourself always asking “why?” Why do we do the things we do? Why do things like this happen? Why do people act a certain way? Well, like you, I don’t have any of the answers. I’m just here to state the obvious and poke fun at things that we as a society have just kind of accepted. Each week, I’ll simply be asking …why?

Hear me out. I know that for a lot of you, when you read this you’ll automatically assume that I am the type of person who would physically assault a flight attendant for having to wear a mask. This is not the case. Quite, the opposite actually. For the past year, year and a half,  2 years (what the fuck is time anymore) I have been the biggest advocate for following the rules for the sake of other people’s health. I did what was asked; quarantined, wore a mask inside and outside, the whole shabang. But now, I’m vaccinated and so are the majority of my peers. It’s a goddamn requirement at some major schools. SO RIDDLE ME THIS AdMiNiStRaTiOn…why can I go to both a tailgate and a game with no mask. But as soon as Monday rolls around, I have to come strapped to class. It makes no sense. The average number of people in attendance at a college football game is about 50-100 thousand. Compared to my SOC 305 class which typically averages about 80-100 total give or take. (Unless it’s a Friday, then only the brave 50-60 hungover students show face.) The numbers and the logic just don’t add up. 

College towns are usually just a place where people put 4 years in, and then get the hell out. They’re location is typically rural and genuinely cater to the seasonal students that filter in and out. So why do families decide to live there? This never made sense to me. Randy and Nancy thought it would be an excellent idea to raise little Timmy and sister Sarah in a town infested with young adult hooligans? I’m sure you can think of someone who’s college house was next to a locals. More often than not, the locals are the most unchill people there ever was. But what did they expect? You live in a college town, you’re going to have to put up with the college lifestyle. You knew what you signed up for. Except the fact that lil Timmy will be corrupted by the time he gets to middle school, or get the fuck out. 

I wrote a blog about this yesterday, but I still can’t get over the fact that this rising star’s fan base genuinely believes that they could pork him, given the chance. It’s crazy to me. There has never really been a celebrity in our lifetime that has seemed so obtainable to the average gal. We all just understand that Mr. Harlow does not give a rat’s ass about pulling 9’s and 10’s, and I think that’s a beautiful thing. 

This is a really important message I think everyone should know about. There is a lot of coke going around right now laced with Fentanyl. I know EVERYONE thinks that they’re stuff is good stuff and that there’s a slim chance they could ever be the one to OD, but it’s simply not true. You are NOT invincible and you do NOT know what’s in that bag. So play it safe guys, at least for now. Try shrooms?

Science, I know. But picture a world without hangovers. A world without hangovers is a world in which every day is the weekend. The only thing stopping you from cracking a few casuals on a Tuesday is the inevitable hangover that will come with it. You would no longer have to decide between Thursday or Friday. A never ending bender, if you will. 

What do you think?

Written by Grace O'Malley

If Carrie Bradshaw drank a little bit too much and was originally from Boston...

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