Caroline Bano
Hello TFM bbs. Here are some questions you asked and some unqualified advice.
Here are my thoughts on the height debate. With dating apps and social media, we see mass amounts of people we are attracted to. Thus, we start to paint the perfect man (or woman) in our heads. Our ideal height, eye color, hair color, occupation, etc. However, just because some girl has an ideal height in her head, doesn’t mean she won’t date someone shorter. Dating apps make us feel like there are so many options out there. We can pick and choose the physical characteristics of our dream partner, but that’s not reality.
I am 5’11”. I would love to be with someone taller than me. I’m not insecure about being tall, but it would make me feel more confident with my height to be with a guy taller than me. But if I met my perfect match and he was just 6’0” or even (dare I say) 5’11”, I’d get over it. If you genuinely love spending time with someone, their height does not matter. I think the whole “over six foot” thing is an internet joke girls took too far. To be fair, when I was in high school, there was a viral tweet/vine where some douche canoe said “if you’re over 120 pounds don’t talk to me.” Now, I was 5’11” in high school and 140, which is a pretty low weight for my height. That tweet was so ignorant. Girls with a booty, big rack, thicc thighs, or even thick hair, all weigh over 120 pounds. All this to say, girls took the height thing too far. But we are not the only ones to make harsh assumptions about someone’s attractiveness based on one attribute.
Also, Zach Efron is like 5’10” and ladies loveeee him.
In conclusion, if she likes you, she doesn’t care about your height. Height is not important.
A compliment is the best pickup line. Don’t be weird about it. Just confidently say you like her shirt or shoes. If she’s drinking the same drink as you, compliment her taste in cocktails or beers. Don’t be weird. Don’t be creepy. Just a simple “I like those shoes, only cool girls can pull those off.” Do not go too hard when you first approach her. It’s scary. Think of the hippogriff in Harry, Potter. If you approached it too quickly it attacks. If you walk slowly and gained its trust, it would break your godfather out of Azkaban for you. So sweet!! If you can also slip a funny joke into your pick-up line that isn’t aggressive or creepy, bonus points.
We aren’t crazy. Most likely, you have disrespected or pissed us off and we cannot believe how poorly you treated us. We are literally in shock. We are reacting to the blatant disrespect. If you checked in with your girl and asked her in privacy to tell you what’s bothering her, she’d tell you. However, your girl isn’t telling you because she doesn’t feel safe with you. Maybe think about what was your part in making her feel so shitty. Why would she not trust you? As a basic rule, if you want to have a successful relationship with anyone in your life, don’t tell them they’re being “crazy” or acting “crazy”. This is inflammatory. Instead say, “I feel confused by your actions and would love to understand where you’re coming from and how you’re feeling.” Most likely, something happened that messed with her, and she doesn’t feel comfortable enough with you to tell you or work through it.
Okay bye bye bbs my eyes hurt from looking at my computer and I want to take a nap. <3
