the godfather
Above all else, your duty as a pledge is to clean. Plain and simple. You’ll clean just about every possible thing that could ever need cleaning – and even some things that you never thought could even get dirty. But, just like pledge rides, there is an art when it comes to tidying up a bong, a brother’s car, or even the entire house. Here are some cleaning instances you might encounter as a pledge and how to go about them with grace:
That One Room
It won’t take much time for you to realize which room in the house seems to maintain a constant level of absurd filthiness that no cleaning could ever fix. There’s always at least one, if not more. The trick with these rooms is to just clean everything at a surface level. If there’s no trash laying out to the open eye, the brothers in that room won’t get mad at you for doing a crappy job and you don’t actually end up really cleaning anything. If they ask for a deep cleanse, just accept defeat and understand that not even professionals could make that room a desirable place to live in.
Two Types of Cars
Besides pearling the house, car detailing will likely be the second most commonly requested kind of cleaning during pledgeship. However, the extent to which you clean a car depends entirely on the owner. If you’re cleaning the car of some random sophomore that no one really likes, shove as much garbage under the seat as possible and move on with your day. But, if you’re cleaning the president’s car, or your pledge master’s, that shit needs to be pristine. I’m talking interior and exterior. Maybe even throw in one of those fancy air fresheners if you’re really looking to improve your pledge rank.
Laundry
Usually, every pledge class has a “laundry pledge” so this shouldn’t be a major issue, but every now and then you might be asked to do a load of someone’s laundry. Literally, your only job is to not colossally fuck up this person’s laundry. As long as you don’t lose anything and make sure the machines are working properly, you should be good to go.
The Bathrooms
Fraternity bathrooms are disgusting. Yet, the bathrooms will be held to the highest standard of cleanliness during pledgeship. If the bathrooms aren’t clean, expect some long nights filled with push-ups, planks, and wall sits. The ultimate goal with the bathrooms is to ensure there is always toilet paper, the showers aren’t clogged, and the sinks aren’t filled with any of the three P’s (puke, pubes, and piss). You’d be surprised how difficult the ladder of those three is to maintain.
The Devil’s Dookie
During your time as a pledge, many of the brothers will like to take their insecurities out on the PC and purposefully trash the house. Now, it’s one thing when the floor is covered in cereal or other miscellaneous food, but when someone decides to take a fat dump on the bathroom floor, you’ve got a situation on your hands. Maybe you’ll end up getting lucky and the “super pledge” will clean it up, but often times you’ll end up having to draw straws. No one wants to clean it up, but someone will. Better to act quickly before it drys up and sticks to the floor like gorilla glue.
Sand
If your fraternity comes up with the great idea to throw a darty with sand, I’m so sorry. No matter how hard you try, the sand will never go away. My only advice is to accept defeat and get used to having sand in your shoes constantly.
