Al Michaels Has Never Eaten a Vegetable

This is one of the weirder reasons I remember seeing someone trending online. Seventy-eight-year-old Al Michaels recently shared in an interview that he has never eaten a vegetable in his life. Not a single one. I’m going to say it again because it feels statistically impossible to me. Al Michaels, who turns eighty in less than two years, has eaten a grand total of zero vegetables. 

Michaels told the story to CNN, and blamed it on the fact that his parents were only eighteen when he was born, so they didn’t force him to eat anything. What’s crazier is that he has held onto this popular childhood opinion for the entirety of his life. Imagine Michaels sitting at the kids table at his family Thanksgiving, and hammering some mac and cheese while lecturing his grandkids about the endangered I formation. 

In his interview, Michaels said that he was proof that man doesn’t need vegetables to survive. By his logic, my eighty-year-old grandmother is proof that a pack a day of Camel Blues guarantees a long life. Maybe Michaels needs to keep Chris Collinsworth around at all times to make him look smarter in comparison. 

The reason I think Michaels entire argument is garbage is because he is definitely eating vegetables more than he thinks he is. When he is given the soup or salad option at a restaurant, his principles are followed into a dark alley. If he truly has never eaten a vegetable in his life, I hate him. People that stubborn frustrate me too much. Eat an onion Al. Then you can get back on my good side.