Mailman Dave
This weekend is the first time this year where there will be real football. It’s week 0 for college football, and if you don’t think I care about Nebraska vs. Illinois, UConn vs. Fresno State, Hawaii vs. UCLA, and UTEP vs. New Mexico State, you’re smoking crack. So if you’re hosting or a guest, here’s how you prepare for GameDay. Something that doesn’t need its own category is where to gamble. The best place to gamble on the wonderful sport that is football is over at Wynn Bet.
1) Always Buy More Food And Beer Than You Think You’ll Need
Nobody wants to make a beer or food run in the middle of GameDay. Everybody is drunk, people are trying to decide who can drive, and nobody wants to miss any game. It’s not like beer goes bad quickly, and there’s always next weekend where you’ll need beers. On the food side, what’s the worst that’s going to happen you’ll have leftovers? Do you know what those leftovers will be good for? The next day when you’re hungover, you can microwave some pizza and wings and melt into the couch as you fill your body with that beautiful grease. If you’re a guest, don’t ever be that asshole who shows up empty-handed. That’s how you don’t get invited for the next game day. If you bring beer, bring lots of beer. If you bring food, bring a lot of food. It’s very simple.
2) Figuring Out When To Leave GameDay
GameDay can be a long day if you’re hosting; it can become awkward when all you want to do is chill in your underwear and eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s while watching the last game of the day. If you’re not a single host and have a family keeping the balance of your family being happy and your boys being happy is a delicate balance. Your child could give 0 fucks about the game. Maybe your wife loves football and is partaking in all of the GameDay activities, but if she hates sports, then you have work cut out for you. Make promises to have a family day in the future; if you get drunk, hold yourself together, your wife doesn’t want to deal with a drunk idiot and your children, and if you’re hungover the next day, pretend like you’re not. Your wife won’t care that you don’t feel good because you’re an idiot who got drunk. If you’re a guest, don’t be the last one to leave. Nobody wants to kick anybody out, but you will be kicked out, and it’ll be awkward. Decide with the other guests when everybody is going to leave. Is it going to be a GameDay when you watch every game, or are you going to stay until dinner and then go out with everybody?
3) Be Flexible With What Games To Watch
If your living room doesn’t look like Buffalo Wild Wings, you’ll need to be quick with the remote. Maybe you have people who are fans of different teams, and they want to watch their team. Maybe people have money on different games and are sweating out -5 with 2 minutes left. Regardless it would be best if you were quick with the remote. The second you see a commercial, you flip to a different game. If a team is in the red zone, you don’t change the channel; if there’s a hail mary, you keep it on the channel. If it’s an NFL GameDay, Redzone will be your best friend, and for Saturday, there used to be ESPN Goal Line, but ESPN discontinued it, so you’re back to needing to be a master with the remote. Once again, having a plan of which games you’re going to watch will make everything a lot easier.
4) Don’t Bring Random People To GameDay
GameDay is a religious day. Nobody wants to deal with awkward conversations with people you don’t know. GameDay is for the closest friends; nobody wants to ask, so where did you go to school? What do you do for work? How do you like your job? We want to bust each other’s balls while we get hammered, eat a lot of food, lose money gambling, and have a great day. Fuck trying to make new friends. It’s overrated.
5) Make Sure You Have Big Enough TVs And Couches
Nobody wants to walk in and see this.
This was from Barstool Chicago. You have guys sitting in lawn chairs; people can’t even see the tv from their angle; they are all stacked on top of each other like sardines. If you only have one tv, you need to make sure it’s a big screen. The bigger, the better. For sitting, you need a big ass couch. If you really want to level up your set up create stadium seating where everybody can see.
Football season is almost here, and that means great days are in the future. So be prepared to drink way too much, eat way too much, and lose too much money. You follow all of these things, and you’ll be ready for GameDay.
